Gabor Maté shares a deeply personal story about his own childhood to illustrate the long-term effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Born during World War II to a Jewish family in Hungary, Gabor describes how his mother, overwhelmed by the stresses of antisemitism, Nazi imperialism, and the fear of raising a child in such conditions, struggled to bond with him. After his birth, she remained unhappy and even gave him away for six weeks, leaving Gabor with the deep-seated belief that he was unlovable and undesirable. This early experience drove him to become a workaholic doctor, always seeking validation through his professional role. He realized that while people may not love him, they would at least want what he could do for them, which became a substitute for being lovable and desirable.

Gabor connects his personal experience to the ACEs study, which demonstrates that the more childhood adversities a person faces, the greater their risk for addiction and other mental health challenges. He explains that ACEs are fractures in a child’s attachment relationship with their parent, leading to long-lasting psychological wounds. Gabor expands on the original list of ten ACEs, arguing that factors like racism, poverty, and the absence of positive experiences in a child’s life should also be considered as significant contributors to trauma and addiction risk. His approach emphasizes the need to understand the root causes of trauma to foster healing and resilience.